Best jokes ever

A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen. One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. ‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said. ‘And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'
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More jokes about: kids
Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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More jokes about: marriage, relationship, time
Did you hear about the baby who swallowed a pin? It was OK. It was a safety pin.
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More jokes about: kids
There a ventriloquist telling blond joke . A blond comes storming up on stage and start says"blonds can be smart to you know,and I'm smart, I should know." The ventriloquist says" ok ok I'm sorry I won't do it again" then the blond says "you shut up and stay out of this cuz I'm talking to the jurk on your knee"
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More jokes about: blonde
What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."
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More jokes about: computer, IT
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him. When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon. He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
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More jokes about: marriage
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris