Joke #620

There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest. There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter. The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won." The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
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has 83.76 % from 854 votes. More jokes about: blonde, college, god, mexican
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?" The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
How do you drown a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
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has 84.73 % from 825 votes. More jokes about: blonde, military
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
Q. Why do blondes have legs? A1. So they don't get stuck to the ground. A2. To get between the bedroom and the kitchen. A3. So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
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has 17.63 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?  A: By doing the splits.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to count the stairs on a escalator.
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has 81.16 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two croupiers are sitting bored at the roulette of THE CASINO. Suddenly a very attractive blonde woman enters and bets $20,000 on a roll, saying: "I hope you do not mind, but I feel very lucky when I play naked." With that, she unbuttons the zipper, takes her dress and underwear off, throw the dice and yells: "Come on baby, mama needs new clothes!" She looks with agony and as soon as the dice stops, starts jumping up and down screaming: "YES, YES, YES I WON!" She embraces one to one of the dealers, taking her profits and clothes and disappears. The guys are looking dumbfounded at each other. Eventually, one asks: "Did you see what dice she rolled?" "I do not know, I thought you were watching!"
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has 84.46 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, work
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car. "Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside. "No, but it's okay, I got the license plate number!"
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts." The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde