When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads.
The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help.
"What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me."
"Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow."
She says, "It's ceramic tile."
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