What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.
Vote:
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
Vote:
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you don´t mea-"
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored."
"Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
Vote:
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
Are you gonna eat that?
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
Vote:
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Vote:
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Yo mama so fat when she went to outer space NASA thought they discovered a new planet.
What do you call a black guy in a coffin?
A box of chocolate.