Teacher: Ramu, give me a sentence starting with " I ". Ramu: I is... Teacher: No, Ramu. Always say, "I am." Ramu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions'
Yo mamas so nasty, she went to the hair salon, took off her shirt, and said "I wanna impress a boy, so braid it."
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she practises birth control by leaving the lights on.
All my friends, we was ready for the second riot. No, not like the first one, where we were just grabbing stuff at random it wouldn't be like that. I've got a thousand boxes of Pampers; I don't know what I'm going to do with it. No, no, this time we had a list. We were going to get the stuff we need. Everybody on my block has bought a U-Haul..
Q: Why do women have tiny feet? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Teacher: “Why are you late?” Boy: “Because of a sign down the road.” Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with your being late?” Boy: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.
Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’ Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’ Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’