Best jokes ever

One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, kids
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
North America, few hundred years ago. An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe. Breathes in, breathes out. His son comes up to him: Daddy, I have a question Well, what is it? Why do we have such long names? Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar. Our names come from nature. When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew. When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset. So that why she got the name Red Sunset. So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: military, sex
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
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has 44.47 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: kids
What do nigger pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business!
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: business, racist
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: kids
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
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