How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator.
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Did you hear about the transvestite who wanted a night on the town?
He wanted to eat, drink and be Mary.
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
Vote:
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Yo Mama's so stupid I asked her to buy me a pare of sneakers and she came back with 2 candy bars.
"I hope you didn’t take it personally, Father," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon."
"I did find it rather disconcerting," the vicar replied.
"It’s not a reflection on you, Father" insisted the church goer.
"Christopher has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.
Vote:
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
"Because he shot the ball!"