Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.