Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
Yo mamas so nasty, she went to the hair salon, took off her shirt, and said "I wanna impress a boy, so braid it."
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
Yo momma’s so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk first.
Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife. Boy:- papa mom has died. father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."