Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics? A: To keep the flies off the chicken
Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair? A: He gets disoriented!
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
What do you say when you see your TV floating in the dark? "Drop it nigger!"
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An Impasta
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!