Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer.
What happens when sharks take their clothes off? They go sharkers.
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er.
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull.
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits? Wheelburrows.
A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in front of her she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer. Then she bends over the desk and starts to carress his beard. "Are you the boss of this Bistro?" she asks and touches tenderly his cheek. "Ehhh. No. Not at all!" the barkeeper replies. "Would you please call him here?" the lady asks and gently touches his hair. "Oh, I'm very sorry. But no. Impossible!" the barkeeper sighs who has - no doubt - fun with this situation. "Would you then please do me a great favour?" the lady asks and follows gently the line of his lips. "Of course. What ever you wish!" the barkeeper moans. "I want to leave a message for the boss!" she says and let first one - then two - fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on. "What message?" the barkeeper asks with the two fingers in his mouth. "Please tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel on the lady's toilet!"
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?