Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
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Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Q: What do you call two Asians playing basketball?
A: Ping-Pong
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Q: Where do you find elves?
A: Depends where you left them!