Chuck Norris doesn't vote.
He elects!
Vote:
Hide an alarm clock in someone's bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m.
Vote:
How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Yo Mama's so stupid I asked her to buy me a pare of sneakers and she came back with 2 candy bars.
When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
"I hope you didn’t take it personally, Father," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon."
"I did find it rather disconcerting," the vicar replied.
"It’s not a reflection on you, Father" insisted the church goer.
"Christopher has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."