A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm.
The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms.
The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"
The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate.
We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!"
After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.
The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk.
With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen!
What does the dog do if Raptors win?"
The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
Answer: A widow.
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on?
A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.
The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
Chuck Norris never felt fear, and he never will.
Vote:
What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
Hip-Hop is dead because of Chuck Norris.
Vote: