Best jokes ever

Q: What do you throw to a drowning black man? A: The rest of his family.
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has 44.50 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage…
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has 44.49 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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has 44.49 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
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has 44.48 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have." Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?" The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, business, customer service, little Johnny
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