Best jokes ever

Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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More jokes about: animal, kids
Your moms pussy is so hairy when your brother was born he died of rug burn.
Vote: has 37.35 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
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More jokes about: black humor, health
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Three holy men rode a plane home. There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end. Who should talk him out of it. The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live. In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant. And a melted black box. The holy men still live to tell the tale. And so does the football.
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More jokes about: religious, soccer, terrorist, travel
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, math
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” “What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you’re bad luck.”
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Yo mama is so stupid that when he got a new bicycle he gave it to the charity funds.
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More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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More jokes about: marriage