When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.
Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.