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Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
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They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
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More jokes about: marriage, time
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
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Yo mama's so black every time she gets in a car the check oil light comes on.
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Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
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Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
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‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?” And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’ Garry Shandling
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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More jokes about: sex