Best jokes ever

What did the black man do first time when they saw a ship? They stick they’re head in the water to see if it has wheels!
Vote: has 35.61 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun. Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?" The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry. When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man. you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?" "well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray. If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too" The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun. The hippie pops out and says "I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!" The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral" So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
Vote: has 35.34 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, sex, time
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club. Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’ Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’ ‘Good heavens,’ says Harry. ‘That’s a very long time ago.’ ‘Not reall
Vote: has 35.34 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
Yo momma’s so ugly, she can look up a camel’s butt and scare its hump off.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama's so fat she uses two greyhound buses as rollerblades.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
Vote: has 35.29 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, women