Best jokes ever

Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, men
Q: Why Are black peoples hands and feet white? A: When God painted them he told them to assume the position
Vote: has 42.98 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, god
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?"
Vote: has 42.86 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
"I hope you didn’t take it personally, Father," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the vicar replied. "It’s not a reflection on you, Father" insisted the church goer. "Christopher has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
Vote: has 42.81 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
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More jokes about: money
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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More jokes about: doctor, holiday, lawyer
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
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More jokes about: men
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
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More jokes about: food, money
A private was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. ‘You can take your choice, Private – one month’s restriction or twenty days’ pay,’ said the officer. ‘All right, sir,’ said the bright soldier, ‘I’ll take the money.’
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More jokes about: military