There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
Since I got married I haven’t looked at another woman. My wife put me off them.
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
What's grosser than gross? Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue. What's even grosser than that? When one of them throws up.
The cop said, ‘Pull over!’ I said, ‘No, cardigan, but thanks for noticing!’
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M's factory? A: She threw away all of the "W's".
Why did the football coach go to the bank? "To get his Quarter back."
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building. He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you women jump off of the building?" The blonde answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..."