What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?"
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
Your mamma so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas when Jusse said his first words you a hoe.