Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common.
So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Lately, I was by the urologist.
He examined me but he did not tell me the truth into my eyes.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat.
Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears.
After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him.
Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing.
"Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom.
"Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry.
Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.