If I had a dollar every time I made a racist joke a nigger would rob me.
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him. I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.
There is a guy. His favorite bar is called 'Sally's Legs'. The bar is closed, so he waits outside for it to open. He was waiting a long time and a cop got suspicious, came over to him, and asked, "What are you doing?" The guy replies, "I'm waiting for 'Sally's Legs' to open so I can get a drink."
A sargeant bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the Lottery.
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
They say about money that you can’t take it with you. I can’t even afford to go.