Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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has 41.13 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geek, IT, technology
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: death, military, office
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
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has 41.03 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, drunk, morbid, sex
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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has 41.01 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Santa
A sargeant bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: cop
What’s six inches long, two inches wide and drives women wild? A fifty-dollar bill.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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