They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger? A: A Doberman.
There's something actionable in your pants.
Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.