Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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Q: Whats different between a Mexican and a Pothole?
A: We serve when we see potholes in the middle of the road.
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
How are crayons like people?
No one likes the white ones.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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When you have a question you check with Google.
When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
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