What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute.
May I please play through?"
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through."
He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!"
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold.
When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp.
At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets.
He fired several shots at the target.
The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target.
He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again.
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.
The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
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Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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