Yo mama is so fat she made all the dinosaurs extinct.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Yo mama so fat that she is called America.
What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer.
"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.
"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.
"And 40 bulls," added the farmer.
The other farmer replied, "Boy!
That IS a lot of bull."
A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute.
May I please play through?"
The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "No, you CANNOT play through."
He assumed the guy read lips so he mouthed, "I can't believe you would try to use your handicap to your own advantage like that! Shame on you!"
The deaf man walked away and the first man whacked the ball onto the green and then walked off to finish the hole.
Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball that knocked him out cold.
When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up four fingers.