Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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Yo mama is so fat she made all the dinosaurs extinct.
Yo mama so fat that she is called America.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'.
Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, ''But they are twins.
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''
When I was born, everyone was so happy.
Even the doctor said, ‘I think it’s a baby.’
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer.
"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.
"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.
"And 40 bulls," added the farmer.
The other farmer replied, "Boy!
That IS a lot of bull."
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won't do what she's told.