What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight.
A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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