Best jokes ever

A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class. A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class." The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move. Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?" The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."

Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.

Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.

For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.

I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.

What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.

"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"

Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."

Lately, I was by the urologist. He examined me but he did not tell me the truth into my eyes.

Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.