Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out.
No one dared to move.
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What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight.
A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Lately, I was by the urologist.
He examined me but he did not tell me the truth into my eyes.
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You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy right away, you have something in common.
So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.
Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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