The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his chequebook open.
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose? A: They combed the area!
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
What’s sicker than driving over a baby? Skidding.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
A blonde keeps checking her mail box. A neighbour notices her repeated trips to the kerb and asks if she’s waiting for a special delivery. ‘No,’ she replies. ‘But my computer keeps telling me I have mail.’