Best jokes ever

One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned her into a man. He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
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has 40.93 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, god, travel
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
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has 40.92 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
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has 40.90 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, morbid, Santa
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
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has 40.90 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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has 40.88 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
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has 40.87 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, kids, sex
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy? A: Antique farm equipment.
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has 40.81 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, racist
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: airplane, travel, women
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: horse, internet, single, women
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner. Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck. The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up. Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in. "Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, duck, food, political
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