Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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