Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Yo mamas so nasty, she went to the hair salon, took off her shirt, and said "I wanna impress a boy, so braid it."
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier?
A: You can count on me.
The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
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When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad.
It says he's Chuck Norris.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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