Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Q:What's the most dangerous job in America?
A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
Why are blacks afraid of lawn mowers?
Because it goes run nigger nigger run.
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The cop got out of his car and the kid, who was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.
The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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