Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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