Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Yo mamas so nasty, she went to the hair salon, took off her shirt, and said "I wanna impress a boy, so braid it."
Q: What did the adding machine say to the cashier? A: You can count on me.
The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable. I just go up and down.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.