A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull out the pin and throw it back.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breath!!!!
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
Are you free on Sunday?
The director asks his secretary.
Yes, sir.
Then, please, use this day to rest a bit, so you won’t be late at work on Monday.
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: What do you call a black man on the internet?
A: The dark web.
Vote:
A single car crash kills a Mexican family.
15 people died.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?
A: When he eats his first Brownie.