Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender? A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Johnny Walks in his parents room finding his dad with his dick in his mom's pussy. Johnny asks his dad " Can realatives Have babies if they fuck?" "Of course not johnny" his dad replied. the very next day johnny was his room stuffing his dick in his 14 year old's pussy and humping her. "ohhhhh Johnny! Fuck Me Harder!" his sister yelled. I am! johnny said. then his sister gave johnny a blowjob to make his dick bigger. "Now I Can Fuck Better!" said Little Johnny. Then Johnny Fucked His Sister How He Saw His Dad Doing To His Mom. Then his parents came into his room and his mom saw his huge cock and said "Johnny That Sure Is Big! "Well Your Next Mom!" Johnny replied
What do men and sperm have in common? They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
A sargeant bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
Did you hear about the policeman who found a stolen car on Acacia Street? He pushed it onto Park Street – he couldn’t spell Acacia.