I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
How do you know which one is your boss from a crowd of 500 people? You say: “My boss is a stupidest asshole!”
A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”
Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit