A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."
The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"
"No," the guy says. "My farts do."
So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.
After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?"
The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."
The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?"
The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.
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Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony?
A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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