Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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