An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?” “Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, “Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!”
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.
The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.