Best jokes ever

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?” “Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, “Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!”
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: military
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: women
Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, time
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, music
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