An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says “Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!” So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked “How did you do it?” “Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, “Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!”
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
Yo momma’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H —— d.
Yo mamas so nasty, she went to the hair salon, took off her shirt, and said "I wanna impress a boy, so braid it."
Yo Mama's so stupid when she heard someone say it was chille outside,she went and grabbed a size 20 bowl.
Q: What do you call a black guy with a fan? A: Antique air conditioner.
A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and two blonde genies come out. They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants. So he makes his wishes... he wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them. Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine... then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him... The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other: "I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money... but I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger..."
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.