Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
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Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.
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Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Q: Why did God create women?
A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."
The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"
"No," the guy says. "My farts do."
So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.
After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."
The guy says, "Why a dentist?"
The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."
The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?"
The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
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Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony?
A: The blond girl told him to come outside
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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