Best jokes ever

What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.
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More jokes about: blonde, technology
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do. “The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Vote: has 29.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom? Mom: Why? my child.. Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
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More jokes about: god, life
Yo mama so stupid somebody said "What's your IQ?" and she said gesundheit.
Vote: has 29.83 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: stupid, Yo mama
I saw the priest watching pornography. Should I get jelous? -Johnny, 11 years old.
Vote: has 29.82 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, little Johnny, priest
We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.
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More jokes about: Facebook
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
Vote: has 29.75 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, ethnic, Hitler
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 29.75 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 29.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, women
A blonde, a priest, a doctor, a nurse, a brunette, a redhead, a lawyer, a rabbi, a musician, a farmer, a lawyer, an accountant, a Mexican, an Indian, a Chinaman, an Irishman, an Englishman an American, A Russian, an Iraqi, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Sarah Palin, George W Bush, Osama Bin laden and Barack Obama walked into a bar. The barman said, "Hang on a minute, is this some sort of joke?"
Vote: has 29.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, blonde, lawyer, nurse, priest