Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife
...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand !
Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man?
Answer: “Lazy.”
Husband to wife: ‘You have a flat chest and hairy legs.
Tell me, have you ever been mistaken for a man?’
‘No,’ replies his wife.
‘Have you?’
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart.
I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.
Simply devastated.
Won’t you please consider coming back to me?
You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.
I can never marry another woman quite like you.
I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning?
I love you so.
Yours always and truly,
John
P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
Your mom's so fat she sat on Big Lots and it turned into Lowes!!!