Yo mama's so stupid when she cries for help she says "come here please".
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The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
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Q: What do ghosts use to phone home?
A: A terror-phone.
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris.
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Yo mama is so dumb she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I got energy!"
The following is a short list of what Chuck Norris cannot do: .
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A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife
...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand !
Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man?
Answer: “Lazy.”