Best jokes ever

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, husband
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men
A sargeant bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: cop
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the policeman who found a stolen car on Acacia Street? He pushed it onto Park Street – he couldn’t spell Acacia.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: cop
What’s black and tan and looks great on a lawyer? A Dobermann pinscher.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport
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