Best jokes ever

A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!! Drew: Yes, it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.

According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.

Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos. That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.

Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.

One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!