What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him. When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon. He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.