Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
Q: What's the difference between killing time and killing niggers?
A: You can only kill so much time.
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
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Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!!
Drew: Yes, it's really strange.
I've got another pair just like that at home.
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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