Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
You don't leave a room, Chuck Norris throws you out.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.