Chuck Norris can fall up.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.