Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Vote:
A wife wanted an expensive fur coat from the executive husband to celebrate their Silver wedding anniversary.
The miser overbearing rich husband rejected the expensive but affordable demand.
He said, "You grow the hair on your chest and I will give you fur coat to cover it."
The wife was out of control with anger.
She pulls up her skirt, drops and throws her panties and pushes her hairy pubic area forward.
She said, "There! I have the hair on my chest, now buy me that damn coat!"
"That’s not your chest, that is your pussy!" husband screamed back.
"Oh yes that is my chest all right" she yelled back. "While we were dating this was your chest of hope. We got married and on our honeymoon you used to tease me it was your chest of pleasure. Then I started bearing children and it became your chest of family, and damn it. If you don’t buy me that fur coat, it is going to be the community chest of public."
Vote:
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Vote:
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday.
Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
Vote:
Q: Did you hear about the Mexican that went to college?
A: Neither did I.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
How is a soyburger like a dildo?
They're both substitutes for meat.
Vote:
Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
Vote:
Yo mama so fat, when a Mexican saw her near the border they said,"this must be Trump wall".