Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Yo mama so fat, when a Mexican saw her near the border they said,"this must be Trump wall".
How are crayons like people?
No one likes the white ones.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
A murder has been committed.
Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."
What do you call a black guy selling drugs?
A pharmacist.
Vote:
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Vote:
Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"