Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.
David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? Dan: I don’t know. Why? David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
Yo mamma’s so big, when she gets outside the house people start screaming: “Freak!”
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Why did the blonde ask for some burned-out light bulbs? She needed them for her darkroom.
Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs? In Iraq.
Did you hear about the man who drank 5 gallons of tea? He drowned in his teepee!
Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
Q: What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar? A: A love call.