The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV? A: His brother with a VCR.
Q: What happens when a black girl gets pregnant? A: Her nigga runs away.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.