Chuck Norris' personal airplane is called Air Force Chuck.
Yo Mama so fat her BMI is measured in acres.
What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Pull out the pin and throw it back.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.