Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past.
He has never made any mistakes.
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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Confucius say, man who fart in church sit in own pew.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers?
‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms.
The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’
‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims.
‘I thought you rolled them on!’
Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.