A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’ ‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims. ‘I thought you rolled them on!’
what do you call a nigger woman having an abortion? A crime stopper!
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head. "How many times did you hit her?" "I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."
What does a Jew get when he walks into a wall with a boner? A broken nose.
Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Yo mama so bald, when she goes to bed, her head slips off the pillow.
Girlfriend left but my heart is not broken... My heart is not made in China!
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.