Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to a garage sale to buy a garage
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
A wife wanted an expensive fur coat from the executive husband to celebrate their Silver wedding anniversary. The miser overbearing rich husband rejected the expensive but affordable demand. He said, "You grow the hair on your chest and I will give you fur coat to cover it." The wife was out of control with anger. She pulls up her skirt, drops and throws her panties and pushes her hairy pubic area forward. She said, "There! I have the hair on my chest, now buy me that damn coat!" "That’s not your chest, that is your pussy!" husband screamed back. "Oh yes that is my chest all right" she yelled back. "While we were dating this was your chest of hope. We got married and on our honeymoon you used to tease me it was your chest of pleasure. Then I started bearing children and it became your chest of family, and damn it. If you don’t buy me that fur coat, it is going to be the community chest of public."
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.