Best jokes ever

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: husband, women
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: hospital, nurse, old people
Yo momma’s so stupid, she went to a mind reader and was only charged half price.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards. If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up. Birth control would come in ale or lager. Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: game, marriage, Valentines day
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
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