The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
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An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was blow the plays.
Gays don't fart - their asses fetch a sigh.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole?
You swerve to miss a pothole!
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris once joined the Army.
That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
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So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.