Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Vote:
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest tits?
The blonde....she's 18.
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
Vote:
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Vote:
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
Vote:
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident.
"Douchebag!" the father yells.
A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son.
"Your father just said a bad word," he says.
"I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?"
His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.