Your moms pussy is so hairy when your brother was born he died of rug burn.
What do you call Black people running down a hill?
Jail break.
Vote:
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Vote:
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music?
Class-ical.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."
One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."
Vote:
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her.
Pity her.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
Vote:
Air traffic controller:
"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Airline pilot: "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Air Traffic controller: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?"