Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: With four skin-divers.
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms? To be sure, to be sure.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’ Les Dawson
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase? Branch manager.
Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
Q: Why do Americans like black candles? A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.