How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
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What do computers do when they get hungry?
They eat chips!
Yo momma’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said.
"How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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