What does a nigger do after sex?
25 years to life.
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident.
"Douchebag!" the father yells.
A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son.
"Your father just said a bad word," he says.
"I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?"
His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman?
"Immediately start downloading it."
Chuck Norris flew boats in the Vietnam War.
Vote:
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar.
Man says "you can leave that lion here."
The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
What do computers do when they get hungry?
They eat chips!
Yo momma’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.