Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Chuck Norris reached level 51 on Oblivion.
Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.