What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
Yo momma’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman.
What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex? A: Because the condom wouldn't fit over the phone.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.