An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins.
The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?"
The man answered: "45 years."
The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
Vote:
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?
He was in a position to marry anyone he pleased.
Unfortunately he didn’t please anyone.
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
I'm a blonde!
I'm a blonde, yay!
B-L-O...?
I'm a blonde, yay!
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About eight beers.