Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
Yo momma’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman.
What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex? A: Because the condom wouldn't fit over the phone.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly