My Dearest Susan, Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so. Yours always and truly, John P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
Yo momma’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman.
What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly