Why are black people good at basketball? Because they run, shoot and steal.
Yo mama's so fat she uses two greyhound buses as rollerblades.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Question: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Answer: You don’t. There’s a clock on the stove.
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke? He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Two fags are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it. Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying "Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage. I Had A Miscarriage." He runs into the woods to see what is going on. When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had a Miscarriage... He looks down and says,"Don't be silly. You didn't have a miscarraige. You had diarrhea on a toad."