Your mamma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
Q: What's brown and in the military?
A: Gomer's pile.
Vote:
Yo momma’s so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle she got hit by a train.
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks.
This beautiful lady sits down next to him.
He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it.
You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money."
She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection?
A: A whopper with cheese.
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!
Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."