Q: Why did the cowboy have sh*t in his mustache? A: Cuz he'd been lookin for love in all the wrong places.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon? "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
Yo' sister is so ugly, I thought she was Yo' Mama.
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.