When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed?
You can smell the carrots on his breath.
Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?"
Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car.
When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'".
Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy masturbating.
Vote:
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’