The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
I'm a blonde!
I'm a blonde, yay!
B-L-O...?
I'm a blonde, yay!
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp.
Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other"
I wonder what hamburgers are made of?"
The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
Q: What did the elephant do when he hurt his toe?
A: He called a toe truck.
What do you call a room full of women, half with PMS, half with yeast infections?
A whine and cheese party.
Yo mama so bald, when she braids her hair, it looks like stitches.
Yo mama's so poor when she heard about the last supper, she thought she ran out of food stamps.
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"