Joke #4390

A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Vote:
has 37.60 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Vote:
has 75.89 % from 1472 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
Vote:
has 67.30 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she’ll become a hooker. She’s not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.” She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, “How much?” She says, “A hundred dollars.” He says, “All I got is thirty”. She says, “Hold on,” and runs back to Harry and asks, “What can he get for thirty?” “A hand job”, Harry reply. She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE... She stares at it for a minute, and then says, “I’ll be right back.” She runs back to Harry, and asks, “Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?”
Vote:
has 85.32 % from 1795 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, wife
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
Vote:
has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, Yo mama
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."
Vote:
has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, dirty, priest, religious, sex
Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, "Whats that hairy thing mum ?" Mum replies, "That is my sponge." "Oh yes," says the boy, "The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it ."
Vote:
has 85.46 % from 933 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. "Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take." A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The boots are sucked right in. He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in. He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in. Inside he hears noises. "Is someone else in here?" he asks. "Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says. "Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says. "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
Vote:
has 80.24 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: car, cowboy, dirty, money, women
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
Vote:
has 83.08 % from 443 votes. More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Vote:
has 68.01 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
Vote:
has 37.08 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, health