What is gross stupidity? 144 men in one room.
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly. Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!" The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?" "I haven't got any money!"
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
A blonde girl walks in the street and sees a banana peel. Sad she was, thinking...damn I will stumble again...!
I went to the movie theater the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dachshund. It was a sad, funny kind of film. In the sad part, the dachshund cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dachshund laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man. "That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dachshund really seemed to enjoy the film." The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
What does a man consider a seven course meal? A hot dog and a six pack.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes sir, with my life.
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine? Only one if you run him through slowly!