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Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
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Did you hear about the small golf course? You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? The vampire sucks you’re blood only at midnight!
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At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!' The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
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Seen in a bar near here: "We don't stand in your toilet, so please don't pee on our floor!"
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‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
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What's green and red? A very mad frog.
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What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court? Annette!
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