When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants" The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
Where does a boat go when it is sick? The dock.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!