Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
My mother in law is so ugly that her face is like a masturbated dick!
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A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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