Why do bears have fur coats?
(Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in.
The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!"
The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?"
The bartender says, "Yeah.."
The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?"
The bartender says, "It's across the road."
How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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