Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
A nigger goes to the doctor in South Africa. He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room. The nigger, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point: Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
Why are black people good at basketball? Because they run, shoot and steal.
I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob? A. Because everybody gets a turn.
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
How do you prevent a Lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water!
What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!