Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?"
"Sure, why do you ask."
"I was going to offer you some toast."
"How kind of... I'll accept."
"Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger."
"You're right about that!"
"Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
A nigger goes to the doctor in South Africa.
He cries he’s got neck pains, the doctor tells him to strip his clothes and walk in four legs and stay for a while in every corner of the room.
The nigger, get’s up in his feet and asks the doctor what’s the point:
Well this because I have a new black table and I wanted to see where to put it!
Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son.
He's a martyr.
"Here's my second son.
He's a martyr too!"
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
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Why are black people good at basketball?
Because they run, shoot and steal.