Where does a boat go when it is sick?
The dock.
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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What occurs twice in The Beginning, never in The End, but is at The End of Everything?
Chuck Norris.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.