My favorite sexual position is called "The Osama"...
its where I burst into your room and blow a load on your face.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
Vote:
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
A newlywed couple goes on their honeymoon.
Two days into the weeklong trip, the wife goes to the front desk and demands a car to take her to the airport.
A few hours later, the husband strolls past the front desk.
The manager asks why his wife has left the island.
"Were you not having a good time?"
The man replies, "Well, I've been having the best time of my life, but it's been with the maid."
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?
Marriage.
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...
Vote:
Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
Vote:
Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
Vote:
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!