God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Vote:
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion?
A: Everywhere.
Vote:
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Vote:
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.
Vote:
Why did the man keep doing the backstroke?
He’d just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach!
Yo mama's so fat she uses two greyhound buses as rollerblades.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Vote:
Nobody is born cool. Except of course, dead babies.